trying to get back to my inner child pt. 1
a prayer/poem:
trying to get back to my inner child
when fearful thoughts were slim and my imagination ran wild
when i believed anything
when i was ready for anything
resilient and soft
where i may have been hurt but never hung up for too long
i’d sit with my backpack zipped, shoes tied, a smile on my face, and ready to hop in my aunts ride
backpack full of books
that’d i’d open at the dinner table at night
avid learner, eager to work to know the more that existed in the world
trying to get back to my inner child
where i would dream and dream
where i could see the good in everyone
where i chose to love even when people hurt me
where i believed just about anything anyone told me
where i would laugh and dance freely
where i would dress up and be unapologetically me
without a care in the world of what others would think
bring me back to my inner child
where my little eyes were open and my little limbs ran wild
where i could pick flowers and imagine and do whatever my heart desired
where i found life exciting, an endless adventure
where comparison never occurred to me and i wasn’t concerned with my own skin
not even caring about my hair or my outfit, just doin' me with no fear of what others would think
gradually fear came as i integrated more n more with the voices of those around me
bring me back to my inner child
bring me back to loving and believing and thinking outside of the realm of others
bring me back to believing in myself and my abilities
reignite me back to me
so i may be all of who i'm meant to be
remind me that your acceptance is all that matters
i am held by the affirmations of my creator
may everything underneath be pulled to the surface
help me see
help me heal Lord because of what You see in me
help me do the work, the heart work of uncovering
help me explore that which I may have forgotten yet still has an effect on me
helping heal the little girl in me who has only known detriment as the melody her mind rings
ring, ring, ring, fears callin’ again
this time I sent them straight to the answering machine
where all they could hear was silence on the other end.
them voices tryna put me down will never be the ones hanging up on me
can’t turn my world upside down any longer when I’m prayin’ God would turn your world around n make my skin stronger
i pray that the deep-seated trauma of people’s rejection will not hold me back from being the fullest and most whole version of me
heal the wounds of those who couldn’t accept me
read pt. 2 here