unbothered

a poem and a prayer

sitting in front of some trees with leaves and branches being tossed by the wind

these trees were once so bare

just branches and air

see-through on site

leafless limbs

feelings within 

makin’ me question 

what is happenin? 

supposed to be planted but i feel like im bein’ uprooted

uprooted from all i’ve done n all i’ve become

took a wrong turn but God says its the right one

all i see around me is a dry n barren wasteland

wasted, wastin', wastin' away 

then i’m reminded of the promise land you showed Abraham (Genesis 15:5)

no fruit in sight

no people he could see

yet You saw something 

different 

stars in the sky representing His descendants 

that would occupy that land n make their home in it

now i’m makin’ my home in you 

just a lost little girl longin for a savior to give her the world

found you in the greatest drought of my life

i was down n out

been down n out even after I’ve said yes to you

thats where i learned that I can still bear fruit in a drought

can’t be bothered when im found in deep love 

can’t be bothered when i’m down n out

because I know that seeds must die before they can sprout

leaves stayin’ green as i’m learning how to be okay with me

leaves sproutin’ as I till n toil under the Son 

who isn’t leavin’ me in all my doubtin’ n tryin’ 

nah, I’m being filled once again with the nourishment of His root system

connected to the cornerstone

turnin’ this stone heart of mine into one that melts in His hands 

turnin’ these dead branches

into places where others can rest their weary hands

and nest in safety 

where food and shade will be provided generously 

in the place where drought had its stay for too long

I am now found in destiny where that state is long gone

I’m different now… 

stronger

bolder 

wiser than ever before

been through more stuff 

yet let go of even more

had some toxicity pruned

some people cut off 

some habits thrown in the trash 

n now its made way for the brash awareness of my desperate need for less. that would enable me to recognize my unrelenting need for more

for more of Him 

for more fruit

for more people to reach with His love 

for more air to fill my lungs

i can’t thank God enough for these seeds he placed in me

that had to go to the grave before I could see 

that in the waiting and the watering 

he is the one who decides what will grow and what has to go 

and he gives me the choice to nourish my soul

the spirit he’s given me 

the garden within

is bein’ nurtured and nourished through all i'm embracin'

His great mighty wind

the sunlight of his presence

the environment im livin in 

the people i’m surrounding myself with

all of it’s leadin to 1 of 3 things: prunin’, cuttin’, or remaining in Him. (John 15:5-7) 

i will not wither or wilt 

as long as i’m stayin’ in the branches of my bruised Savior

thorns on His head

representin’ the curse of my sin and what it did to him

now he made a way for that sin to not be the thing that keeps me in prison 

but the one that keeps me pressed into Him

actually, he became the one that was pinned

who knew that Jesus would become sin so that true life could be lived?

i’m pressed into Him as he prunes all that is in me 

to make room for the story that only God could be penning 

lettin’ these seeds die

so fruit can sprout

im lettin it all go

lettin’ it all out

knowin that tomorrow, or whenever it’s supposed to come

livin’ water will overflow because of the path to the Father Jesus plowed once n for all

Jeremiah 17:8 

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. 

They are like trees planted along a riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. 

Such trees are not bothered by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.”